myTreat Blog - Social Skills

Interview: Personal Development is Always Work in Progress with Arvind Devalia

Arvind Devalia is a leading success coach, speaker, prolific blogger and author of numerous books. Please connect with Arvind via his blog Make It Happen. Today he gives us a few tips on personal development and explains the difference between professional confidence and social confidence.

You break down confidence into separate categories, professional and social and recommend people focus on one or the other at one time for better results. Can you expand a bit on how someone can separate the two while “training” their confidence?

Eric, thanks for picking up on the distinction between professional and social confidence. 

I find that some people are very confident in a professional setting but yet can appear shy and withdrawn in a social setting. And vice-versa.

It’s all about building up your self-esteem so that you know you are fine no matter what situation you find yourself in.

Self-esteem is to do with WHO you are – and confidence is to do with what you do and have.  So if you are very skilled at something like say playing the piano, you can feel confident in playing in front of an audience. But you may still be unsure about say public speaking.

Ultimately, one should work on their self-esteem first – and self-confidence will follow. 

At the same time, to become really confident about something, one has to put in the ground work and be prepared to do whatever it takes to become outstanding at that thing.

You’re a life coach and an expert in your field, so that’s why I was wondering if you can you give us an example of a time when you felt awkward or uncomfortable in a social setting and how you overcame this.

Eric, I am a work in progress! 

Being an expert in the field of personal development does not mean that my life is perfect. I still have my challenges and my moments of madness. But I do now have the skills and knowledge to get over my “stuff”.

I have done a lot of work on myself over the last 10 years and one of the most satisfying has been overcoming my fear of speaking in front of a large audience.

Earlier this year, I spoke in front of over 300 people for 90 minutes and that was a real breakthrough. I have written a blog post about exactly this – how I overcame my fear of public speaking. 

I first started on overcoming this fear of being in front of large crowds by volunteering to be a “mike-runner” at various seminars. I was the person who zipped around the room with a microphone, anytime a member of the audience had a question for the speaker.

That was how I first overcame my perceived awkwardness in a social setting. And as I said in my blog post, anyone else can also do the same.

Some people think Social Media and the web prevents people from really connecting with each other in a personal way while others live by it. Having a good online following yourself, what’s your take on how technology has impacted the way we connect with each other and build relationships?

I am very much a people person – and I prefer face to face interaction any day!

One of my key attributes is the ability to quickly connect with anyone in a social setting and that’s helped me gain a large following in the world of Social Media and some of these connections have led to book sales and coaching clients.

There is however a lot to be said for Social Media – and its power to bringing about positive change in the world, which is such a driving force for me.

Having a large Social Media following means that my message can be shared more powerfully and widely.

We can still connect deeply with people we meet online if we look at HOW we can serve them. Do not chase “Likes” for the sake of it but see how many people you can actually serve with your blog posts, books, images, inspirational message etc.

Give, give and give whenever you interact with people, whether offline or online.

Finally, what are some upcoming projects you’d like to mention? Any more books or events in the pipeline?

I am always exploring new book ideas and I have a number of Kindle books that I am working on. One that’s due to be launched soon is called “Love is All That Matters” – this is a manifesto for bringing more love into our lives and the world.

This will be released around 21st Dec 2012. 

If you believe the Mayan calendar, the world as we know it is due to end on 21/12/12. So in case, we are still around on the 22nd of Dec 2012, I would like the world to embrace more LOVE.

My other upcoming Kindle books are about achieving personal excellence and finding a partner.

In 2013, I shall also be delivering much more personal empowerment seminars and workshops.

Finally, thanks Eric for giving me this opportunity to contribute to your audience.

Connect with Arvind:

• Site: http://www.ArvindDevalia.com/blog
• Twitter: @arvinddevalia