Dating Interview: Lying On Your Profile Is Always a No No with April Braswell
April Braswell is a professional internet matchmaking profile writer at AprilBraswell.com. She writes a weekly dating column at DatingAdvice.com. She gives such great advice we asked her to come back and give us more.
While having a good online dating profile is critical for attracting potential dates what do you recommend people do when some of their profile stats might not be the best? For example women typically don’t like to date short men so should a short guy lie about his height so he can at least have a chance?
Oh my goodness, no never! Overt lying in your online dating profile is always a No No, whether it is for men for their height and size of their income or women and their age and weight. Bald faced lies will never give your potential relationship a good foundation. Whenever your date finds out the truth about you, and you know of course they, will, right, that person will definitely feel that you lied to them, be ticked off at least a little bit, and somewhere in the back of the brain a question will start formulating…. “What else is this person lying to me about?” NEVER a good idea. Don’t do it!
However, that said, let us say, you want to put your best foot forward. I come from a Silicon Valley corporate sales and marketing background having worked for some of the biggest names in technology of yesterday and today as well as Venture Capital backed start ups. So, I am well-versed in marketing and self-promotion.
So leveraging all of the tools and assets out there to look, appear, and be perceived at your best and in the best light possible is always a good idea.
And doing that is “being truthful” which I recommend to singles who attend my singles seminars whether in-person at a live event with me or an ecourse. “Being truthful” still allows you to wear a suit that accentuates your masculine broad shoulder or a sport jacket for the men. “Being truthful” means, ladies, we can wear make-up, get our hair done, and wear Spanx and other good foundation garments and snazzy high heels to look our best.
Those are all personal marketing tools. Do leverage them for your benefit while remaining truthful. Maximizing your attractiveness is always a good thing!
As for those short men, she will know the real truth in nano-seconds when you meet her.
If you lied in your profile, she just might turn on her heel and leave.
Worse still, she might first pour her drink over your head, turn on her heel and leave, thus publically humiliating you for your lie. Who wants that?
What does work? Pull a Woody Allen. Use a little warm humor and jesting about your diminutive stature. The women who you do meet then might be fewer of them, however, you’ll enjoy her company so much more than the alternative!
You offer professional online dating profile writing as a service. How helpful has this been for your clients? Can you share one of your success stories?
I have literally had clients be so delighted with the level of personal interaction and hands-on matchmaking crafting of their profile to truly reflect them that they have paid me extra for the benefit they received.
One lady whose looks are merely average, not runway model gorgeous, like most of us human beings, rushed to email me stories of how some of the men who had emailed her with her new profile hadn’t even recognized her as a woman they had emailed with months before. Her profile then reflected her more uniquely and she stood out from the crowd of single women.
What are your recommendations on photos to use for an online dating profile? On the one hand if you put your best photos on there if you actually meet the other person online they might be disappointed. Conversely, if you put horrible photos online you might not get any dates. Is there a good way to manage expectations in the looks department?
I always recommend using at least some professional done photographs of you. Mind you, those photos should not be glamour shots, boudoir shots, nor too studio posed looking photos of you.
You do want to work with a gem of a professional photographer. They are professionals and are experts at capturing you looking your personal best. Then again, when you arrive for a first date, you did go to the time and effort to look your personal best live, didn’t you? Of course you did. So then the comment that you’ll receive will be, “You looked great in your photos. Wow, but you look just amazing in person!” Let them gush while you bask in their admiration.
There are many online dating websites out there. What sites do you recommend and for what purpose? Are there any websites that you don’t recommend?
Oh my goodness, there are literally thousands of singles sites! I have clients in the United States as well as internationally in a number of other countries.
The thing I recommend to clients is to do their homework about what sort of singles are at the sites they are using. Is that the kind of relationship you’re looking for? The singles in Ireland, Canada, and Australia are going to know their own country’s singles sites better than I possibly can. Who are they attracted to? I don’t want to send them to a mainstream US dating site when what they want is an interracial Catholic single mate. See what I mean?
The only sites I offer caveats for are the ones which are free when what they’re looking for is a serious relationship with another motivated single. Folks who desire a major relationship want to sift through the chafe. That means they will pay the internet matchmaking site’s membership premium so they are not wasting their time with less motivated singles.
However, if what you want is a few dates and a casual boyfriend or girlfriend fast, then the free sites are excellent choices for you. Always be safe!
Aside from the traditional dating websites, what other websites are good for meeting potential dates which weren’t necessarily designed with that purpose in mind?
Any of the websites offering casual social interaction where you actually then meet in person are always a good idea.
- Events at Facebook.
- Gaming Sites
- Activities Forums
- Local Hiking Trail Forums
- Ecourses and Group Coaching for Singles Forums
Just do aim to meet in person soon. Do not allow an online flirtation to go across country for months upon months on end. Sure, there are stories of couples who met and courted that way, but they are a very small percentage of the total population. A real relationship starts when you first meet live in person and can shake hands, interact, and embrace. And isn’t that what we are all craving anyway? Connection, interaction, and intimacy!